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Two More Days until the big race!

Refinery here! Before you read on, make sure you check out Meghan’s other posts herehere and here. Meghan is sharing her journey to refinement with us as she preps for the upcoming Women’s Half Marathon on April 19, 2015. Now, back to Meghan’s story:

The race is in TWO days and my brain is buzzing with questions. What time should I eat the night before the race? Should I carbo-load? What time should I go to bed? What time should I wake up? Should I have coffee? Is it a bad idea to drink coffee before running… will there be bathrooms there? (They HAVE to have bathrooms there, don’t be ridiculous.) What should I eat for breakfast? How much should I eat for breakfast? (Notice I didn’t ask: should I skip breakfast, because that’s NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.) Should I bring a little fanny pack with gel snacks? Or just bring some Sour Patch Kids? Because let’s be honest, they are pretty much the same thing.

Should I bring my iPod? Will I be able run without music to keep me going? Have I trained enough? How am I going to run 13.1 miles? Can I do this? And that question seems to unravel it all.  Hello, crippling self-doubt, I have missed you! You know it well, that sinister voice that creeps into your brain and hisses at you, “You should have done more. You are not enough.” Side note, I just realized the voice of my self-doubt sounds a lot like Lord Voldemort.

Sure, I could have done things differently. I could have lifted weights for two hours every day, ran harder, and controlled every morsel of food I ingested. But, I didn’t, I did what I did. So am I defeated before I even start? Geez, talk about thoughts that are not in the best interests of my goal! I have to remind myself that all I want to do is finish the race. I don’t have any delusions about crossing the finish line first. I just want to run without stopping. As I mention to people that I am running a half marathon, their reaction continues to be a wide-eyed, “Whoooaaa. That’s crazy!” Their look of disbelief at the number of miles is a quite unnerving. As if it wasn’t that crazy before, but now, two days away, the impossibility of 13.1 miles is really settling in.

meg 1

Image by Steve Nadeau

I am trying not to focus on what I haven’t done. Instead, I have a list of my accomplishments: I ran lots of 5ks, I SoulCycled, I lifted weights, I ate lots of fruits and vegetables, I bought a new running shirt, I have synthetic socks, a headband, new sneakers, and body glide… But will I be enough? Then I picture all of the other women who will also be running the race. Some have competed in tons of marathons, while others are newbies like me.  But whether it’s their first race or their 50th, they all started somewhere.  I am willing to bet, they have all thought at one time, “I’m not good enough.”  This universal thought reminds me that I’m not alone in my fear. I will literally be surrounded by thousands of women who are challenging their bodies and minds.  They will be proving to themselves that they are strong enough, and I will be right there alongside of them.

meg 2

Image by Steve Nadeau

So for me, this Sunday will be a success no matter what, because I will face that doubt.  I WILL finish this race, and the beauty of being a first-time runner is that no matter what time I finish, it will be my personal best.

There’s still time! We invite you to book your stay at Refinery Hotel for the NYRR Women’s Half-Marathon. We’re celebrating all the women who run the world!  #Womenruntheworld

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